L asked me, will u give up ur dignity for the person u love?

it is a diffictult question even though some people  will immeidiately say "yes, of course" because they have not thought about it carefully. u will never know the answer until u actually face the situation...

and once u know the answer, it changes a lot of things...

he said: chinese chinese zhongguo chinese....

he said: rice eater... 10 bows of rice per day...

he said: spoon face...

he said: chifan time...

he said: little froggie...

he said: oh flowers...sarong...

he said: so boyish...

he said: pink...

he said: basically...

he said: should be forbidden...

he said: so~~enjoy..

he said: r u sure u dont want it? u sure?...

he said: n'mind...

he said: respect the older...

he said: qu qu qu...

he said: my stomach is five times thinner than urs....

he said: i can skip my dinner...

he said: i am smart casual....

he said: u r so racist...

he said: no fear...

he said: i am much more mature..

he said: bad taste...

he said: u program in english...

he said: u eat everything excpet the table!~

he said: it's okay...

he said: u know, sometimes...

he said: what!!??

he said: calm down...

he said: wicked....

he said: u r not serious....

......

and he said: i love u

 

when u said " we cannot afford it", i felt my heart stop beating at that one second. i nearly cried.

u r definitely right. both of us know it very clearly.

suddenly i could not think of anything else. my brain simply switched off.

i felt sad the whole day. i just could not help but think about the words that u said in the morning.

first time in life i realized how cruel reality could be.

it reminded me of the movie" roman holiday".in the end princess ann said to joe in the car" I don't know how to say goodbye. I can't think of any words."
and joe replied: "don't try."

yes, dont try.

dont try to do anything to avoid what may be happening in the future , for nobody knows what the future will be like.

dont be afraid of being loved and loving in return even though we know that it may hurt a lot after we r apart, because, to love someone wholeheartedly is the most beautiful thing in the world.

remember the day we smoked shisha and i told u the japanese philosophy about meeting someone only once in a life time?

i believe it, wholeheartedly.

to treature every single moment in life, every encounter, every event, every person, because in the next moment, everything will not be the same. 

so my dear, i wont be afraid. either should u.

it may be a story with a sad ending, but at least, we will make it beautiful in the process.

i hope when i become old and look back on my life, i will be able to say that when i am 21, i met u at this moment this place. even though we r not "living together happliy ever after" like the ones in the fairy tales, at least, when i think of it, i could tell myself it was the most beautiful time in my life.

 

and ...i love u.